language explanation - Are the English subtitles for The Thing (2011) wrong?

I understand both Norwegian and Danish. The English subtitles for many of the the Norwegian and Danish lines in this movie seem quite off.

For example, "Sitt stille" is subtitled as "Turn on the lights" instead of the correct "Sit still".

What are they really saying?

Answer

Being a native speaker of Norwegian, I can confirm that yes, the subtitles for many lines are wrong. In a few cases they are actually so bad that the meanings are totally different.

I've made two subtitle (.srt) files where I've replaced the worst ones with my own corrections.

Download corrected English subtitle file with only Danish and Norwegian lines.

Download corrected English subtitle file with Danish, Norwegian and English lines.

All of Sander's lines are in Danish. Norwegian and Danish are mostly mutually intelligible. I have also received help from the native Danish speaker Janus Bahs Jacquet in the comments and from two Danish friends of mine elsewhere.

Warning 1: The following answer (quite obviously) contains spoilers.

Warning 2: This answer contains crude and vulgar language and also parts of an extremely unpleasant, nasty joke by one of the Norwegian characters.

Note: The Norwegian characters speak in somewhat different spoken dialects (mostly West Coast Norwegian and Northern Norwegian), but I've transcribed everything in standard, written Norwegian (Bokmål).

I will explain the errors, and what they actually say. I will use the following formatting pattern:

00:00:00 (Occasional comment from me.)

What the subtitle says.

Transcript of what is actually said in Norwegian or Danish.

Accurate translation.

I have come across two different subtitles for this movie. One of them only includes subtitles for non-English lines. The other one has subtitles for the English ones as well. Where they differ, I have included both. The one that only translates non-English lines is always (I think) listed first. If you come across any other English subtitles for this movie, please let me know.

I'll start with the more serious ones:

00:02:16 (This line is much more correct in the other version.)

Where is it? I don't see anything.

Hva i helvete er det vi ser etter?

What the hell is it that we're looking for?

00:02:22

I'll let you know when we get there.

There is another, equally wrong, version of this line in the other version:

A little bit more or else we will be flagged on the site.

Vi begyner å nærme oss kilden til signalet.

We're closing in on the source of the signal.

00:02:37

You know women...

This line was not spoken at all. The subtitle author must have just made it up or seen it in the original script or something. It's in both versions of the subtitle.

00:04:03

Turn on the lights.

Sitt stille.

Sit still.

00:12:02

Careful

The other version has a take on this line that doesn't even make sense:

Brighten

Sander

Sander (He's greeting Sander.)

00:44:35 (This line is in Danish.)

You made a mistake for bringing these people here. More people may die.

Hør nu hvad jeg siger til dig. Edvard, det er fuldstændig vanvittigt at bringe folk ind i det her udefra. Vi kommer til at miste det vi har fundet.

Listen to what I'm telling you. Edvard, it's absolutely insane to bring people into this from the outside. We'll lose what we have found.

(Sander is arguing that they should not call for outside help, as that may lose them their sensational discovery of an alien life form.)

00:44:41 (Response to the line directly above.)

Sander, we do not know even if they are dead.

Sander, vi er jo langt forbi det punktet nå.

But Sander, we have passed that point long ago now.

(He's telling Sander that given the dire situation, they should no longer be worrying about the discovery.)

00:56:21

Let's finish them off!

Kom igjen, din jævel!

Come on, you fucker!

01:05:50

They escaped.

De er vekk.

They are gone.

01:08:02

They killed him!

The other version has:

Lars is killed

De dreper oss også!

They're gonna kill us too!